UGH. Just UGH.

I feel about a million years old today. I slept wrong and my back is killing me. My head hurts. None of this has anything to do with the fact that my birthday is this weekend. Yes, I'll be 29 for the seventh time.

This weekend was completely exhausting. Saturday we went to a BBQ with my family -- which was about a 5 on the 1-10 stress scale. My family is great, so many of them want to spend time with the girls that I actually managed to steal a few moments to eat a nice steak, have a small glass of wine, and exhale. The girls went in the baby pool again, which they enjoyed. But toward the end of the day, they had a meltdown and it was a fire drill to get them into the car and home.

The following day was madness. I had to drive to Long Island to my BIL's house alone. DH picked up the MIL and the aunt and drove them to Long Island. D. slept the whole two hour drive. S. sat and played with her little Ernie as we made our way through bumper to bumper holiday traffic. Once we arrived, it was time for the girls to have lunch.

Being with DH's family is different from being with my own. For starters, no one helps me. I'm completely on my own. DH goes out to the deck, drinks his beer, and has a grand old time, while I'm indoors trying to keep my children entertained. Let me also mention that my BIL has a son who's a couple of months older than my girls, so he's all up in our grill. First, he went over to the bag I brought and started rummaging through all their toys....I'm a little anal about this. I like to keep their toys separate from him. Not only because I "skeeve" him (dirty little bastard that he is), but I also don't want him walking away with one of their favorite toys, only to have it vanish in the trash heap that is their house. That would be beef. So I'm feeding the girls their lunch, and he's standing over me, waiting for me to feed him as well. When I fed them their bottles, he tried to take them away -- I almost broke his hand. I yelled to my SIL, "Hey R., your son is hungry!" Luckily my MIL stepped in and distracted him. But then I had to listen to my MIL preach about how little M. is walking, and my girls are still cruising....little M. is eating carrots and pita bread, and my girls are just starting to accept solids...I fixed her with an icy glare and said, "Well, that's why they're being evaluated by Early Intervention." End of story bitch. I FUCKING HATE when people compare my kids to other kids. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Every child has their own rate of growth, every child has their own milestones to achieve. Fuck all the authors and experts to create these milestones, then make us feel guilty when our kids don't achieve them in the "right" timeline.

I put the girls in their bathing suits and DH took them in the pool (I of course, had my "woman issues" and decided to forego swimming. Besides, with the lack of help, like I would've been able to actually frolic around in the pool? I think not). Contrary to all bets, D. was loving the pool. I'd bought little baby inner tubes that had a little seat for them - she loved it. She was sitting in the floatie, legs crossed, smiling and chatting away. S., while quite the little fish in the baby pool, didn't like the "big pool" -- she realized she couldn't touch bottom and freaked out. But she was tired too. I took her back inside, changed her and got her to fall asleep in her stroller. She was holding onto a toy while sleeping...in comes little baby M. and tries to take the toy away from her, she woke up screaming. I almost threw him through the wall. I knelt down to eye level with the little schmuck, and said very deliberately - "NO. That's not yours." He ran for the hills.

Then, I left her in the stroller snoozing and went to the bathroom. I come back to find my SIL's father, on the couch, watching golf. No I realize that I'm in someone else's house, I shouldn't expect to have the run of the place. But I have two grumpy toddlers with me - if watching "Blues Clues" is the only thing that keeps them quiet, then goddamn it, get with the program. Its a barbeque, shouldn't you be outside being social? Do you really need to see Tiger Woods win yet ANOTHER competition? In the end, I won and he was pretty annoyed by my kids presence. The way I feel about it is - get over it. He had babies once too, and its clear he's forgotten what its like to keep them entertained when they're outside their home environment.

I managed to get us out of there by around 6:30 and we were home in about an hour. Traffic was a breeze, thank god. DH spoke with his brother yesterday and found out that his friend Fred stayed there until about 3:30 am. Some of you will remember Fred; he's got a habit of outstaying his welcome where ever he goes. I can just see his poor wife and his 4-year old daughter sleeping on my BIL's couch, waiting for him to be done playing his guitar, drinking beer and talking shit. Who are these men??

The girls got a couple of toys from relatives who'd missed their birthday. I want to know who was the genius at the toy companies who made up this system of hog-tying toys to cardboard with pieces of wire?? Is there nothing worse than a screaming kid who wants their new toy RIGHT NOW, and you're fighting to get it unfastened from the damn box? I mean you need a Master's Degree to get these things open! By the time I got the boxes open I was ready to throw the fucking toys out with the boxes - who's with me on that one?

Since I missed Monday Madness, here's a new meme - Music Memoirs
1. Which band, past or present, would you like to see reunite? - Seeing the Live 8 footage made me think of this -- Pink Floyd
2. What are your three favourite songs by this band? Us and Them, Dark Side of the Moon, and Comfortably Numb
3. Which album do you think was the band's best? - Oh please. Dark Side, of course.