Getting old sucks ass.

Well, its Friday. Time for my weekly random rant.

DH is coming home early today, which is good because I'll be able to get some errands done. Bad because (as I think I've mentioned about ten times) having him around disrupts my flow. I'm cranky in general, I've had the same migraine headache for about two days because of my PMS. DH took his shitbox car into the shop and just blew another $2000 on repairs. He bought the fucking thing for $5000, and has put about $10000 worth of work into it in the last three years. He refuses to consider leasing a car (which he certainly could do for the money he's spending on that deathtrap he rides around in). Then of course, I need to listen to his lectures about how we need to "contain costs" -- nothing pisses me off faster than the use of "corporate vernacular" in my house. And certainly don't talk to me about containing costs when you just walked in the house with a huge set of external speakers that you'll be mounting in the BACKYARD (for use in conjunction with the fire ring, guitars, beers and other manly things that I don't bother myself with), and let's of course not forget the 60th catered birthday party that he's planning for his mother -- the hall, the DJ, etc etc...and he's paying for it himself (because his brothers either have some semblance of fiscal responsibility or just couldn't be bothered with their own mother...I'm thinking its the latter) the party is going to cost him $4000. But he's lecturing me on how we need to contain costs. That's OK. He'll be eating Kraft mac & cheese three nights a week, and he better not even think about complaining. He can't wait for my mom to retire, because he thinks I'm going back to work at that point. I don't even want to cross that bridge yet. No one is raising my kids but me -- otherwise, why'd we even bother having them? He wants to send me back to work at some part time minimum wage bullshit job so that he can give me less money and spend more money on frivolous shit. DAMN IT.

Speaking of, his buddy F. is coming over to watch the UFC pay per view on Saturday night, and I think he's brining his wife. Just what I wanted to do - entertain while my DH and his buddy sit in the yard, dancing around the fire ring drunk off their asses, scratching their balls. Awesome.

This is one of the reasons I miss my high paying corporate job. I was able to buy whatever the fuck I wanted for myself and not have to justify it to anyone. It's all a trade off I suppose.

The babies went to the doctor yesterday. They are both about 20lbs and about 30in tall (I swear, S. is going to be a supermodel someday!). He wants them to go to Early Intervention though...their motor skills (ie walking) are a little behind the curve. Both of my babies were preemies and they're twins, and both of those things contributes to delayed development, so its all "normal". I know this. But whenever someone tells you that something "might" be wrong with your kid, damn it if I don't beat myself up, thinking that maybe there was something more I could have done for them.

I also had my eyes examined yesterday (for the first time in like three years, shame on me) and I've been referred to an opthamologist. They found a blood spot behind the retina of my right eye, which they believe is related to my hypertension. They say that the high blood pressure causes the blood to pump too forcefully through the vessels and sometimes they bleed. If it gets bad enough, they laser it to stop the bleeding. I'm not quite sure why its happened because I take my meds every day, and my pressure is under control. Of course, DH gave me the lecture about how I need to get off my ass and start running on the treadmill again (HE should talk). I swear, getting old sucks ass. I'm 36 years old this year and its like I'm on the slippery slope downward. I just want to be around for my daughters, which is why my chubby ass is going to get on the treadmill today, no matter how bad my fucking head hurts.

Here's the Friday Fiver - enjoy!

1. Have any exciting summer plans? - NO. Cost containment, remember?
2. What's the best summer vacation you've ever taken? - My best summer vacations were with my family to the Poconos.
3. Would we be more likely to see you lounging by a pool or out water skiing? - Lounging baby. In the shade, please. Oh, and don't forget my boat drink.
4. Will you be putting on a swimsuit this season? - Oh sure. I'm middle aged now. I have no modesty left. I'll even throw in a big floppy hat for good measure.
5. If you could take a summer vacation anywhere, for 3 weeks, where would you go, and why? - alone?? I think I'd go to Mexico, and plant myself in a hammock near the ocean and stay there for the whole time, just have people bring me drinks. If I were going with my family - Disney. If it were just me and DH - Ireland.