Resident Old Fart Checking In

First, let me say that y'all sure can follow directions. A tip of the hat especially to Carrie and Susie for the best fake-astonished response I've seen in a while, and that's sayin' something.

For the curious, my birthday night out was great. Let me give you some background info before I talk about that. As you know, the girls stayed the night with my MIL. She called the house the night before to talk about some of the particulars of the girls' schedule. Here's an excerpt from our conversation:

Me: "We'll stop and buy you some whole milk on the way for the girls. They'll have already had lunch when they get to you, so you'll just need to feed them their dinner"
MIL: "Right. And what if they want a milk bottle in the afternoon?"
Me: "They don't get milk bottles between meals. You can give them juice, but no milk".
**Pause** She's obviously not computing.
MIL: "Well, what if they're hungry?"
Me: "You can give them juice, and I'm giving you some of their cookies. But you'll give them dinner by 5:30 so I wouldn't worry about it"
Me: "Now, the girls usually go to bed around 8pm"
**Pause #2**
MIL: "oh, so they're on a strict schedule?"
hello? they're BABIES. Of course they're on a schedule. Moron.
Me: "Yep. They're on a schedule"
MIL: "Well if we're playing and having a good time, I'll just use my judgement on their bedtime"
OK. She's obviously not listening.
Me: "well, you can do what you want, but I'm telling you they'll be tired by the time 8pm rolls around. And they're going to my mom's house the following day, so I'd appreciate it if you put them to bed on time so they're not cranky and tired for me the following day".

what. the. fuck.

Not to mention that we had to go to her in separate cars AGAIN. I had the stroller in my trunk, and I was going to bring her a Pack & Play for the babies to sleep in. But then she called DH and asked us for our Play yard connected gates (AKA "The Octagon" in my house). She explained that she was afraid that D. was going to pull her lamps down if she wasn't watching them. My question then becomes - WHY wouldn't she be watching them? Isn't that the POINT of them coming over? Fucking hell.

We had an awesome dinner. I even had a few cocktails. During dinner, I got a phone call from the MIL. She told me that S. had been crying ever since I left. I heard her in the background, sobbing and hysterical. And while I commend my daughter for being such a good judge of character, I was going to be damned if she was going to ruin my dinner. I was a heartbeat away from calling for the check and going to pick her up. Suddenly, inspiration hit. MIL told me that S. was chewing on her hands. EUREKA! I told MIL to give her some Tylenol, and I'd call her after we left the restaurant. Sure enough that did it. Thank god.

We then went to see "Batman Begins". It was great. We left the theatre past midnight. DH hit the alarm to open the car and it didn't work. He used the key, and I'm standing on the passenger side waiting for the door to open. I hear him say "WTF!" And he says the power door locks aren't working. It was then that I said (calmly): "Honey, when you dropped me off to get tickets, and you parked the car, is it possible that you left the lights on?" The look on his face said it all. So, I had to call my dad at past midnite, and get him out of bed to come jump my car. An awesome finish to my birthday. What really pissed me off was that we were gonna go have some late night pancakes after the movie which I missed out on because my DH is a DOOFUS.

Well tomorrow is Friday so I'll be back to rant more tomorrow!