Embrace the suck.
Embrace. The. Suck.
That perfectly describes this week.
First off, DH has found out that he'll likely be out of work before the summer starts. The small firm where he works is being bought out by a larger firm, and they won't be retaining any Admin. staff. The whole situation is a bad trip for us because DH was out of work for nearly two years following 9/11: Those were really dark days for us. But they were bearable because I was working (and making some nice money, I might add) and we didn't have two kids. The fact that our marriage survived that time shocks me. It was a tough time for DH, allowing his wife to be the breadwinner (I swear, that "hunter-gatherer" thing is encoded into a man's DNA, and when he can't "bring home the bacon" it plays serious games with his self esteem and sense of self). But as you all know, I'm not working now, and he is already feeling the pressure to find another job. Add to this the fact that DH was VERY well paid (overpaid, actually) for what he does, and he'll be hard-pressed to find a similar salary. We knew that eventually the ride would come to an end, but now that we're used to him bringing in this much money, how do we survive on less? The options are NOT appealing. I can only hope that we can hang in there until September; when the girls will be in school, and my schedule will open up a bit. I'm going to have to find some kind of part-time work - which I don't mind doing, but I also need to be here for the girls when they get out of school because they will undoubtedly be getting therapy services after school.
I swear, I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis - I'm slowly approaching 40, and I would have thought I'd be more...settled at this point in my life. I remember my parents at my age, and how they struggled and nickle-and-dimed things in order to get by, and I always thought I'd do better than they did. And its starting to look like I'm doing worse, and that is just so...disappointing to me.
We're currently in the midst of a winter storm in my neck of the woods. Earlier in the week, temperatures went up to 70 F, and now there's about 6 inches of snow and ice on the ground. I shoveled the walk this afternoon, and the walk was covered before I went back inside. Even more frustrating is that we're running low on ice melt - I drove to three different places last night, and no one had any. Everyone already has out their tiki torches, BBQs and lawn chairs. Ridiculous.
In the midst of all this crap lies my beautiful daughters. This week, Dr. D. had a new favorite thing - one of my fridge magnets that says "girls kick ass". Dr D. had some serious poop issues this week: Yet another thing that no one told me about before I signed onto the Mommy Train - that I'd have to be obsessed with the number of, and quality of, my daughter's bowel movements. And since her diet is so limited, its hard for me to give her things that will make her poop. Just so you understand the level of my psychosis - D. will only drink juice from a juice box, so I've been partially emptying her juice box, and refilling it with a cocktail of water and prune juice. You should see me in the kitchen like a mad scientist, siphoning juice out of a juice box, all in the name of poo. How glamourous is my life, I ask you?
Miss Princess S. is really doing well with her therapy; her speech is getting clearer and her vocabulary is getting more extensive. The other day she was sitting at her little table, coloring in her new Dora coloring book, and I walked by in the midst of some domestic chore (laundry, I think) and she reached out to grab my hand. She pulled me down to the table, and handed me a crayon - how could I resist? So we sat and colored for a long while - it was awesome.
Oh, and being that I'm half Irish (the good half, of course), I couldn't sign off this week without adding this:
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
That perfectly describes this week.
First off, DH has found out that he'll likely be out of work before the summer starts. The small firm where he works is being bought out by a larger firm, and they won't be retaining any Admin. staff. The whole situation is a bad trip for us because DH was out of work for nearly two years following 9/11: Those were really dark days for us. But they were bearable because I was working (and making some nice money, I might add) and we didn't have two kids. The fact that our marriage survived that time shocks me. It was a tough time for DH, allowing his wife to be the breadwinner (I swear, that "hunter-gatherer" thing is encoded into a man's DNA, and when he can't "bring home the bacon" it plays serious games with his self esteem and sense of self). But as you all know, I'm not working now, and he is already feeling the pressure to find another job. Add to this the fact that DH was VERY well paid (overpaid, actually) for what he does, and he'll be hard-pressed to find a similar salary. We knew that eventually the ride would come to an end, but now that we're used to him bringing in this much money, how do we survive on less? The options are NOT appealing. I can only hope that we can hang in there until September; when the girls will be in school, and my schedule will open up a bit. I'm going to have to find some kind of part-time work - which I don't mind doing, but I also need to be here for the girls when they get out of school because they will undoubtedly be getting therapy services after school.
I swear, I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis - I'm slowly approaching 40, and I would have thought I'd be more...settled at this point in my life. I remember my parents at my age, and how they struggled and nickle-and-dimed things in order to get by, and I always thought I'd do better than they did. And its starting to look like I'm doing worse, and that is just so...disappointing to me.
We're currently in the midst of a winter storm in my neck of the woods. Earlier in the week, temperatures went up to 70 F, and now there's about 6 inches of snow and ice on the ground. I shoveled the walk this afternoon, and the walk was covered before I went back inside. Even more frustrating is that we're running low on ice melt - I drove to three different places last night, and no one had any. Everyone already has out their tiki torches, BBQs and lawn chairs. Ridiculous.
In the midst of all this crap lies my beautiful daughters. This week, Dr. D. had a new favorite thing - one of my fridge magnets that says "girls kick ass". Dr D. had some serious poop issues this week: Yet another thing that no one told me about before I signed onto the Mommy Train - that I'd have to be obsessed with the number of, and quality of, my daughter's bowel movements. And since her diet is so limited, its hard for me to give her things that will make her poop. Just so you understand the level of my psychosis - D. will only drink juice from a juice box, so I've been partially emptying her juice box, and refilling it with a cocktail of water and prune juice. You should see me in the kitchen like a mad scientist, siphoning juice out of a juice box, all in the name of poo. How glamourous is my life, I ask you?
Miss Princess S. is really doing well with her therapy; her speech is getting clearer and her vocabulary is getting more extensive. The other day she was sitting at her little table, coloring in her new Dora coloring book, and I walked by in the midst of some domestic chore (laundry, I think) and she reached out to grab my hand. She pulled me down to the table, and handed me a crayon - how could I resist? So we sat and colored for a long while - it was awesome.
Oh, and being that I'm half Irish (the good half, of course), I couldn't sign off this week without adding this:
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
posted by scrappintwinmom @ 11:09 PM
4 Comments:
At 12:10 AM,
kenju said…
Happy St. Patrick's Day, and I hope your husband finds a good job soon.
Michele sent me.
At 12:13 AM,
A Army Of (Cl)One said…
When My spouse and I moved to this part of th eworld, it took me over a year to find a new job. I understand you husband pain. it is tough when socity say life must be one way, when reality make it something else. Thank goodness for a spouse who was ok with my level of crazy at that time.
here is my fav Irish prayer: May God turn their hearts, And if He doesn't turn their hearts, May He turn their ankles, So we'll know them by their limping.
Hello from michele
At 1:35 AM,
Michael K. Althouse said…
Everything is going to be fine. Breathe in, breathe out. I'm 44 and I've come to the conclusion that it will be a very long time before I can even think about things being "settled." It's better that way, trust me.
Michele sent me,
Mike
At 10:31 PM,
carmilevy said…
For all the times I've been bought out - four at last count - I've learned that massive change often hides opportunity within. You have to look for it, but it's there.
People often used to joke that when I showed up at a company, it was time for them to bail because the firm was certainly going to be snapped up before long.
If I can be of any help as your DH begins the search, please let me know by dropping me an e-mail through my blog. I've been there...and I do the strategy thing pretty well.
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