An open letter: Dear Bono,

My dear, dear, Bono. We've known each other for so long. I've known you about as long as I've known my best friends - which is about half my life. Up until now, I've simply tried to concentrate on the music, and not get involved too much in your extracurricular activities. But I can keep silent no longer. I have to say it. And I'm saying it only because I'm your friend, and I care about you.

ENOUGH ALREADY.

A NOBEL Peace Prize nomination? Your name bandied about for the president gig over at World Bank? Heading up a HUMANITARIAN clothing line?

You couldn't just be happy about getting into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, could you?

While part of me thinks its great that you use the power of your celebrity to bring attention to worldly matters, part of me cringes when I hear yet ANOTHER speech about Africa. That's the part of me that wishes you'd just focus on the fucking music. Because after all, you ARE a rock star, yes?

Granted, I have to right to bitch. I haven't bought a U2 album since....hmmmm...Zooropa, maybe? Why? Because y'all have lost the edge (no pun intented). I've heard tracks from your new album on the radio, and every single one reckons back to older songs. I won't even TALK about the travesty that is the U2 Special Edition Ipod - you should be ashamed of yourself.

I guess when I compare you to some other contemporary rock stars, you're modest in comparison. I just remember being 16 and having pictures of you all over my walls. And yes, I admired your philanthropy then. I would never have even know about things like Amnesty International if it weren't for you. But I'm 35 now sweetie, and maybe I'm just jaded, but I just want you to shut the fuck up. I'm past being fired up for a cause. I need to get fired up just to pick my head up off the pillow these days. I'm sorry, but can you take it down just a tiny notch?

In closing, let me say that you still look good, and I'd still do you any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Thanks for listening.