Who are these people, and how did I get related to them?
...ever ask yourself that? I mean, if it weren't for the bonds of marriage, would you even be friends with your in-laws? I can answer unequivocally no. Here's a recap of my weekend in an angry little nutshell - if you don't want to hear me talk shit about my IL's leave now. You'll be less annoyed.
Friday night we get a phone call from the MIL - she tells us that Vin (my BIL) left her a message, saying that the party on Saturday was cancelled, he and J (his horrible excuse for a wife) are fighting. No further explanation offered. Calls to Vin's house go unanswered, leaving us pondering the following questions:
- If the party is in fact cancelled, why not call everyone? Why just call MIL? WTF? How pissed would I be if I piled my babies into the car, only to arrive and find NOTHING?
- How fucked up is this guy to promise his daughters a birthday party, then just cancel last minute?
- Why are we wasting our time pondering, when we know these are the kind of white trash they are? Its just par for the course. But someday when his daughters are running away from home or some other nightmare, he'll actually wonder WHERE he went wrong. Go figure.
We decide that we're going to stay at MIL's house Saturday night regardless, as she's looking forward to it.
Saturday morning, I'm awoken by DH stomping around the house. He tells me that he is now driving to SIL J's house. He called her to find out if the party was still on, and she said that she was going to do the party for the kids with or without Vin (bravo, sister) but could DH please come take her to get things she needs for the party (she doesn't drive). DH now drops his life and goes to help her out, leaving ME to now get the girls ready to leave. Which is no big deal, and I've done it before, but its the principal - he's always running THERE to help THEM, when his ass belongs HERE.
He gets home around 2-ish. We should have been at the party already. By the time we get there, the party will be close to over. I'm assuming we can skip it, and I'm told, "no, we HAVE to go there. We have to show face, and everyone wants to see the babies". grrr. As he's getting ready, he tells me that his brother was "home lying on the couch" while my DH went out and bought the stuff needed for the party. I'm astonished, although I shouldn't be. This piece of shit decided he's just not having the party, and knows that it will all work out in the end because people like his brother (my DH) will bail him out and do what's necessary so that the kids aren't disappointed. If you ask me (no one did, I'm just sayin'), these girls NEED to see what kind of piece of garbage their father is. DH then proceeds to tell me that he SPENT over $250 for party 'stuff' - because J. didn't have her debit card - Vin 'allegedly' took it to prevent her from going on with the party.
Which gets my wheels turning, and gets me thinking -- what if there was NO fight? What if they staged all this drama simply because they couldn't afford to do the party, and needed to leech off someone (like DH) and wanted him to hand over cash without thinking he'd get it back?
I'm not kidding. That's how they live. See what I mean when I say white trash?
Now I'm not only burnt because I have to SHOW UP at this thing to begin with, I'm pissed because my DH has now spent in excess of $1000 on birthday schwag for these kids - but yet, there's "no money".
DH turns to me as we're leaving and says sarcastically, "babe, life is good". I snapped, "Yeah, life is good if you're Vin - I dunno about the rest of us". I swore to myself that if Vin came within 10 feet of me that day, I was going to kick him in the ding-ding.
To top it all off, DH tells me that he's responsible for taking his mother and aunt home from Vin's house. We've taken my Corolla out today - so DH explains that he'll have to make two trips. I say, "well, they took a taxi TO Vin's house, why not take a taxi back?" DH replies, "because they want to feel as though I'm taking care of them."
Again, this is the level of sickness that exists in my husband's family. Its insane really.
We get to the party at Vin's "backyard". Its really a strip of concrete in front of his house. Take your arms and extend them out to the sides -- that's how wide the space was, and here I come with my double stroller - what a fucking nightmare. I shove a hamburger down my throat while keeping an eye on my kids. All of my nieces want to "pick the babies up" (no, leave them alone. They want to walk, they don't want to be held, thanks), or "feed the babies" (no, leave them alone, they can hold their own bottles now). DH is otherwise occupied, so I'm the primary caretaker (what else is new?). In spite of my best efforts, my little nephew is stealing all of their toys, and Vin's dog ate a cookie out of baby D's hand. After about an hour, I had to feed the girls dinner, and there was just NO ROOM for me to do it there. I tell DH I'd better take the girls to MILs house -- they were done anyway -- I couldn't let them out of the stroller since the whole surface was concrete and they were antsy.
We're bundling the girls back in the car when DH explains that he'll drop us off, then come back with MIL and auntie "in a couple hours" -
OK, WHA?
My thing is, if she wants a ride from you, then tell her to get her fat ass in the car when YOU'RE ready. She has to adjust her timeline to YOU, not the other way around. He tells me that MIL isn't ready to leave and won't leave until they serve cake. Like she needs cake. Then he tells me to stop being bitchy. My response? "I'll stop being bitchy when you start being a father and a husband".
Then I get the speech about how I'm just like my SIL's - I'm antisocial and I don't talk to anyone. My response? "How can I talk to anyone when all of my attention is consumed with caring for our kids, since you're too busy to help me out?"
I mean, my MIL's house is not babyproofed. It's not my babies' normal environment, nor is it mine. There are no gates, no way for me to contain them. If you have to go fetch mommy, could you at least do it quickly, so I'm not left alone with two cranky babies who want to go in two different directions?
After MIL and DH get back, I've already fed the babies - they're cranky (did I mention they never napped?) we put them to bed. Honestly, at this point I was looking foward to going to the other party if only to have a few cocktails.
Once we arrived, DH leaves me with Mrs F. and goes to the backyard, where manly men discuss manly things and scratch their balls.
Mrs. F did book a scrapbook party with me so I've very happy about that - the only good thing that came out of that night.
Next day after we got home, I got a phone call from MIL. DH was of course, hung over, useless and napping (when do I get a nap is my question). She waxed poetic about how wonderful her son is, and how someday if I'm ever "blessed" with a son -- I swear, she is home right now, doing some funky santoria bullshit, trying to get me pregnant -- I'll truly understand the "special bond" between a mother and a son. I don't think I ever want a bond that "special" with my kids -- its bordering on oedipal! She went on to say that I should be "proud" of my husband because he's just so wonderful to his brother's children and to her -
But I swear to all that's holy, my lip is bleeding from biting it so much.
Please - do tell me how your weekend was!
Friday night we get a phone call from the MIL - she tells us that Vin (my BIL) left her a message, saying that the party on Saturday was cancelled, he and J (his horrible excuse for a wife) are fighting. No further explanation offered. Calls to Vin's house go unanswered, leaving us pondering the following questions:
- If the party is in fact cancelled, why not call everyone? Why just call MIL? WTF? How pissed would I be if I piled my babies into the car, only to arrive and find NOTHING?
- How fucked up is this guy to promise his daughters a birthday party, then just cancel last minute?
- Why are we wasting our time pondering, when we know these are the kind of white trash they are? Its just par for the course. But someday when his daughters are running away from home or some other nightmare, he'll actually wonder WHERE he went wrong. Go figure.
We decide that we're going to stay at MIL's house Saturday night regardless, as she's looking forward to it.
Saturday morning, I'm awoken by DH stomping around the house. He tells me that he is now driving to SIL J's house. He called her to find out if the party was still on, and she said that she was going to do the party for the kids with or without Vin (bravo, sister) but could DH please come take her to get things she needs for the party (she doesn't drive). DH now drops his life and goes to help her out, leaving ME to now get the girls ready to leave. Which is no big deal, and I've done it before, but its the principal - he's always running THERE to help THEM, when his ass belongs HERE.
He gets home around 2-ish. We should have been at the party already. By the time we get there, the party will be close to over. I'm assuming we can skip it, and I'm told, "no, we HAVE to go there. We have to show face, and everyone wants to see the babies". grrr. As he's getting ready, he tells me that his brother was "home lying on the couch" while my DH went out and bought the stuff needed for the party. I'm astonished, although I shouldn't be. This piece of shit decided he's just not having the party, and knows that it will all work out in the end because people like his brother (my DH) will bail him out and do what's necessary so that the kids aren't disappointed. If you ask me (no one did, I'm just sayin'), these girls NEED to see what kind of piece of garbage their father is. DH then proceeds to tell me that he SPENT over $250 for party 'stuff' - because J. didn't have her debit card - Vin 'allegedly' took it to prevent her from going on with the party.
Which gets my wheels turning, and gets me thinking -- what if there was NO fight? What if they staged all this drama simply because they couldn't afford to do the party, and needed to leech off someone (like DH) and wanted him to hand over cash without thinking he'd get it back?
I'm not kidding. That's how they live. See what I mean when I say white trash?
Now I'm not only burnt because I have to SHOW UP at this thing to begin with, I'm pissed because my DH has now spent in excess of $1000 on birthday schwag for these kids - but yet, there's "no money".
DH turns to me as we're leaving and says sarcastically, "babe, life is good". I snapped, "Yeah, life is good if you're Vin - I dunno about the rest of us". I swore to myself that if Vin came within 10 feet of me that day, I was going to kick him in the ding-ding.
To top it all off, DH tells me that he's responsible for taking his mother and aunt home from Vin's house. We've taken my Corolla out today - so DH explains that he'll have to make two trips. I say, "well, they took a taxi TO Vin's house, why not take a taxi back?" DH replies, "because they want to feel as though I'm taking care of them."
Again, this is the level of sickness that exists in my husband's family. Its insane really.
We get to the party at Vin's "backyard". Its really a strip of concrete in front of his house. Take your arms and extend them out to the sides -- that's how wide the space was, and here I come with my double stroller - what a fucking nightmare. I shove a hamburger down my throat while keeping an eye on my kids. All of my nieces want to "pick the babies up" (no, leave them alone. They want to walk, they don't want to be held, thanks), or "feed the babies" (no, leave them alone, they can hold their own bottles now). DH is otherwise occupied, so I'm the primary caretaker (what else is new?). In spite of my best efforts, my little nephew is stealing all of their toys, and Vin's dog ate a cookie out of baby D's hand. After about an hour, I had to feed the girls dinner, and there was just NO ROOM for me to do it there. I tell DH I'd better take the girls to MILs house -- they were done anyway -- I couldn't let them out of the stroller since the whole surface was concrete and they were antsy.
We're bundling the girls back in the car when DH explains that he'll drop us off, then come back with MIL and auntie "in a couple hours" -
OK, WHA?
My thing is, if she wants a ride from you, then tell her to get her fat ass in the car when YOU'RE ready. She has to adjust her timeline to YOU, not the other way around. He tells me that MIL isn't ready to leave and won't leave until they serve cake. Like she needs cake. Then he tells me to stop being bitchy. My response? "I'll stop being bitchy when you start being a father and a husband".
that went over like a fart in church.
Then I get the speech about how I'm just like my SIL's - I'm antisocial and I don't talk to anyone. My response? "How can I talk to anyone when all of my attention is consumed with caring for our kids, since you're too busy to help me out?"
I mean, my MIL's house is not babyproofed. It's not my babies' normal environment, nor is it mine. There are no gates, no way for me to contain them. If you have to go fetch mommy, could you at least do it quickly, so I'm not left alone with two cranky babies who want to go in two different directions?
Is it me, or is it him - its him right?
After MIL and DH get back, I've already fed the babies - they're cranky (did I mention they never napped?) we put them to bed. Honestly, at this point I was looking foward to going to the other party if only to have a few cocktails.
Once we arrived, DH leaves me with Mrs F. and goes to the backyard, where manly men discuss manly things and scratch their balls.
Mrs. F did book a scrapbook party with me so I've very happy about that - the only good thing that came out of that night.
Next day after we got home, I got a phone call from MIL. DH was of course, hung over, useless and napping (when do I get a nap is my question). She waxed poetic about how wonderful her son is, and how someday if I'm ever "blessed" with a son -- I swear, she is home right now, doing some funky santoria bullshit, trying to get me pregnant -- I'll truly understand the "special bond" between a mother and a son. I don't think I ever want a bond that "special" with my kids -- its bordering on oedipal! She went on to say that I should be "proud" of my husband because he's just so wonderful to his brother's children and to her -
My response? "I'd be a lot prouder if my husband were around more to be a proper husband and father."
Probably shouldn't have said that.
But I swear to all that's holy, my lip is bleeding from biting it so much.
Please - do tell me how your weekend was!
posted by scrappintwinmom @ 2:46 PM
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