TGIF(ucking)F
OK, The question of the day goes to Donna: Do you REALLY wanna be 16 again? (I'm referring to the username you picked for this site, of course).
How about the rest of you? Would you want to be 16 again? If you could go back in a time machine to any year and start over, where would you start? I'd be interested to see your answers.
For myself, I always wanted to live my life without regret. I for one think its unfortunate that we start out young and get older and acquire experience as we age. Because I'm tellin' ya, if I could go back to 1984, and start over as a SPHS freshman (knowing what I know now), I would OWN that fucking place. Tell me not. On the one hand, most of my experiences have shaped the person I am today...but on the other, there are SO many things I'd like to do over, do them differently. But if I did, would the end result be the same?
Here's a small list of things (just off the top of my head):
1. I would've stood up to ass hole bullies like Fran A. and her Jabba the hut sister, Maureen Payne and that other slut she used to commiserate with. And yea, maybe I would've gotten my ass handed to me, but at least I'd respect myself. I always admired Trish McCauley, because she was able to cross clique lines and she got along with everyone. People like Fran would bully me around simply because they thought they could. That's the lesson I learned -- sometimes, you will get your ass kicked. It's not the end of the world. But you at least need to stand up for yourself and tell people to go fuck themselves, or else you lose your self respect.
2. I would've not been so fucking lazy. I would've studied my ass off and done a better job academically. And maybe I would've gone away to college. I still regret the fact that I didn't experience a collegiate experience like Donna did.
3. Do we even NEED to get into relationships? The good ones that I fucked over and stepped on because of my own short-sided selfishness (Monty, Jeff), to the ones that were just plain old stupid (the old guy and my "engagement" - UGH, Kevin Brock (Donna, don't go there), and what list would be complete without the eternal nemesis Peter (when I think of the years wasted there I want to PUKE)
4. I would've re-thought my whole strategy on men. This is a revelation that I only got when I was like 30 (no, really). All my life, I've been an aggressive no bullshit kind of person. Even when I was little (and I had a LOT of boyfriends in kindergarten, let me tell ya). I always was of the mindset "hey, I like you, you like me. Let's just hang out and see if there's any reason to pursue it. Why waste time with bullshit games?" Unfortunately, that approach failed for me time and time again, and I couldn't figure out why. Then FINALLY, I got it. I swear, I think I may have been a man in a past life, because that approach is a very masculine approach, and men get INTIMIDATED and freaked out by it. I read a book that someone loaned me right around the time I started dating Ronnie and there was one quote that stuck with me to this day... "Men are too quickly bored by what is too easily gotten..." and the light bulb went off. True, I had to go against my own instincts, but it worked. I had to sit on my hands and not call, I had to wait to be pursued. A man WANTS to chase you...it all goes back to them being hunter/gatherers and shit. And when I allowed myself to be chased, I got my man.
Man o Man would I like to go back in time and test this theory with some of the ones that got away.
After reading all this you're probably saying "Damn, that girl is tough on herself all the fucking time!". NAH...not really. Truth be told, I turned 35 this year and it was OK with me. I've come into a place where sure, there's room for improvement (always!) but for the most part, I'm happy with who I am. I'm real, I'm still a no-bullshit chick, and...I don't know if I can find the right words for it, but I feel tough-as-nails, and I feel WISE. I am SO ready to give advice to my daughters should they seek it when they're older. And in spite of the grey hairs, I STILL look good. : )
So its a grey depressing day, and I'm convinced the sun will NEVER come out again and I'll NEVER be able to hang out any laundry. Instead I'm spending the afternoon packing away the clothes that Danielle gave me into crates and getting them up into the attic (thanks again Danielle!!).
How about the rest of you? Would you want to be 16 again? If you could go back in a time machine to any year and start over, where would you start? I'd be interested to see your answers.
For myself, I always wanted to live my life without regret. I for one think its unfortunate that we start out young and get older and acquire experience as we age. Because I'm tellin' ya, if I could go back to 1984, and start over as a SPHS freshman (knowing what I know now), I would OWN that fucking place. Tell me not. On the one hand, most of my experiences have shaped the person I am today...but on the other, there are SO many things I'd like to do over, do them differently. But if I did, would the end result be the same?
Here's a small list of things (just off the top of my head):
1. I would've stood up to ass hole bullies like Fran A. and her Jabba the hut sister, Maureen Payne and that other slut she used to commiserate with. And yea, maybe I would've gotten my ass handed to me, but at least I'd respect myself. I always admired Trish McCauley, because she was able to cross clique lines and she got along with everyone. People like Fran would bully me around simply because they thought they could. That's the lesson I learned -- sometimes, you will get your ass kicked. It's not the end of the world. But you at least need to stand up for yourself and tell people to go fuck themselves, or else you lose your self respect.
2. I would've not been so fucking lazy. I would've studied my ass off and done a better job academically. And maybe I would've gone away to college. I still regret the fact that I didn't experience a collegiate experience like Donna did.
3. Do we even NEED to get into relationships? The good ones that I fucked over and stepped on because of my own short-sided selfishness (Monty, Jeff), to the ones that were just plain old stupid (the old guy and my "engagement" - UGH, Kevin Brock (Donna, don't go there), and what list would be complete without the eternal nemesis Peter (when I think of the years wasted there I want to PUKE)
4. I would've re-thought my whole strategy on men. This is a revelation that I only got when I was like 30 (no, really). All my life, I've been an aggressive no bullshit kind of person. Even when I was little (and I had a LOT of boyfriends in kindergarten, let me tell ya). I always was of the mindset "hey, I like you, you like me. Let's just hang out and see if there's any reason to pursue it. Why waste time with bullshit games?" Unfortunately, that approach failed for me time and time again, and I couldn't figure out why. Then FINALLY, I got it. I swear, I think I may have been a man in a past life, because that approach is a very masculine approach, and men get INTIMIDATED and freaked out by it. I read a book that someone loaned me right around the time I started dating Ronnie and there was one quote that stuck with me to this day... "Men are too quickly bored by what is too easily gotten..." and the light bulb went off. True, I had to go against my own instincts, but it worked. I had to sit on my hands and not call, I had to wait to be pursued. A man WANTS to chase you...it all goes back to them being hunter/gatherers and shit. And when I allowed myself to be chased, I got my man.
Man o Man would I like to go back in time and test this theory with some of the ones that got away.
After reading all this you're probably saying "Damn, that girl is tough on herself all the fucking time!". NAH...not really. Truth be told, I turned 35 this year and it was OK with me. I've come into a place where sure, there's room for improvement (always!) but for the most part, I'm happy with who I am. I'm real, I'm still a no-bullshit chick, and...I don't know if I can find the right words for it, but I feel tough-as-nails, and I feel WISE. I am SO ready to give advice to my daughters should they seek it when they're older. And in spite of the grey hairs, I STILL look good. : )
So its a grey depressing day, and I'm convinced the sun will NEVER come out again and I'll NEVER be able to hang out any laundry. Instead I'm spending the afternoon packing away the clothes that Danielle gave me into crates and getting them up into the attic (thanks again Danielle!!).
posted by scrappintwinmom @ 1:40 PM
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