Everyday is like Sunday...
"Everyday is silent and grey..." - Morrissey
DH is working today so I'm alone, washing clothes and bottles and surfing (at my kitchen table! Again, I heart wireless).
I survived the visit from the MIL; I excused myself to go food shopping. I figured that's as good of an excuse than any.
I had a moment yesterday afternoon. I was packing up some of the girls' 0-3 month clothes - I'm giving them to another mom-of-twins who is at home on bedrest with a cervical cerclage. The poor thing only gets to shower twice a week! I talk to her, and I realize that things went astonishingly well for me during my pregnancy - it all could have been a lot worse. Anyway, I'm sending her some of the girls' sleepers, outfits they never got to wear that I got as gifts etc...I held up this little onesie that Baby D. used to wear all the time, and I thought to myself, "wow. my babies will NEVER be this small again". And I cried. I'm such a sap.
In other news: Have you ever Google'd yourself, or someone you once knew? I was sitting here this morning, utterly bored (though I should've been washing dishes), and decided to Google my ex-boyfriends. I found one in particular. I won't mention names to protect the innocent, but those of you who knew-me-when will know him: he lived in Jersey, went to university in Indiana, had long hair (at the time), and I mercilessly fucked him over not once, but twice. My dear Danielle will remember in particular the night we sat in her apartment (the "gin is wrong!") night, still brought to tears over the memory of this man, and my utter guilt at how I'd treated him. Once I met DH, the ghost of this ex BF faded away. I Google'd him today to find that he is alive and well and living in California. He writes for a car magazine. He did exactly what he'd planned to do. He always said he was leaving the East Coast for warmer weather, he's still writing, and was able to take his passion for cars and find a way to do exactly what he loved. Awesome. Good for him.
It got me thinking; how many of us can say the same? I read a statistic recently. A survey was conducted of professional folks (management, doctors, laywers etc) and an extremely high number of them didn't really give any thought to their career paths! They followed a field of study because they felt they "should", or it happened by accident, or because it was what their parents told them to do. I, for one, am one of those people. I fell into my field completely by accident - I never planned it. Which is why I'm at a crossroads professionally. I'm not going back to work anytime soon, but if and when I do, I don't want to do what I was doing prior to getting pregnant. I'm faced with the question, "what now?" and I don't know how to answer it. I feel as though there's infinite possibility, and yet, I'm lacking the funds to do the things I really want to do.
OK, now that I've bummed myself out, I'm going to go feed my kids lunch.
DH is working today so I'm alone, washing clothes and bottles and surfing (at my kitchen table! Again, I heart wireless).
I survived the visit from the MIL; I excused myself to go food shopping. I figured that's as good of an excuse than any.
I had a moment yesterday afternoon. I was packing up some of the girls' 0-3 month clothes - I'm giving them to another mom-of-twins who is at home on bedrest with a cervical cerclage. The poor thing only gets to shower twice a week! I talk to her, and I realize that things went astonishingly well for me during my pregnancy - it all could have been a lot worse. Anyway, I'm sending her some of the girls' sleepers, outfits they never got to wear that I got as gifts etc...I held up this little onesie that Baby D. used to wear all the time, and I thought to myself, "wow. my babies will NEVER be this small again". And I cried. I'm such a sap.
In other news: Have you ever Google'd yourself, or someone you once knew? I was sitting here this morning, utterly bored (though I should've been washing dishes), and decided to Google my ex-boyfriends. I found one in particular. I won't mention names to protect the innocent, but those of you who knew-me-when will know him: he lived in Jersey, went to university in Indiana, had long hair (at the time), and I mercilessly fucked him over not once, but twice. My dear Danielle will remember in particular the night we sat in her apartment (the "gin is wrong!") night, still brought to tears over the memory of this man, and my utter guilt at how I'd treated him. Once I met DH, the ghost of this ex BF faded away. I Google'd him today to find that he is alive and well and living in California. He writes for a car magazine. He did exactly what he'd planned to do. He always said he was leaving the East Coast for warmer weather, he's still writing, and was able to take his passion for cars and find a way to do exactly what he loved. Awesome. Good for him.
It got me thinking; how many of us can say the same? I read a statistic recently. A survey was conducted of professional folks (management, doctors, laywers etc) and an extremely high number of them didn't really give any thought to their career paths! They followed a field of study because they felt they "should", or it happened by accident, or because it was what their parents told them to do. I, for one, am one of those people. I fell into my field completely by accident - I never planned it. Which is why I'm at a crossroads professionally. I'm not going back to work anytime soon, but if and when I do, I don't want to do what I was doing prior to getting pregnant. I'm faced with the question, "what now?" and I don't know how to answer it. I feel as though there's infinite possibility, and yet, I'm lacking the funds to do the things I really want to do.
OK, now that I've bummed myself out, I'm going to go feed my kids lunch.
posted by scrappintwinmom @ 1:41 PM
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